Straight after I graduated with a Diploma of Hospitality, God blessed me with the opportunity to work in the hospitality industry in a 5-star hotel environment for 3 years. I truly loved my job and at the same time, I was blessed that I could teach Sabbath School, serve as a Service Team Coordinator at church, and have more time to spend with my family and dear ones. Life seemed to be perfect.
Then, as we all know, the pandemic hit us earlier this year. I got stood down from my job, there was a lockdown, and I couldn’t meet anyone. Even worse, other problems emerged around the same time that really brought me down. I felt disappointed and had doubts about what the future held. My dream to work as a chef seemed faint since the borders closed and restaurant-hotels couldn’t do dine-in because of the restrictions.
For the first two months in this new situation, I tried to be positive, serving God and trying to be as happy and productive as I could. I didn’t want to share my feelings with others too much because it was a hard time for me. During that time, my sleeping schedule was such a mess that I didn’t do my devotion regularly. Eventually, I realised that the more I tried to depend on myself, the more it didn’t work. I became more frustrated and worried.
One day, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I cried and prayed wholeheartedly to God. I told Him that I truly needed Him more than anything else, that I needed His mercy and guidance. It was just as how Jacob prevailed and didn’t want to let God go. “But he said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me.” – Genesis 32:26.
From that day, there was a strong desire in my heart to earnestly seek Him. I realised that I needed to wrestle with God in my daily prayer.
I began doing my morning devotion and prayer with a church friend every day, and indeed, God is so good. Ever since I started doing my devotions again, I had no more issues with my sleep, and I could experience sweet time with Jesus every day. It brought peace and joy to my heart. “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” – John 14:27
In less than a month after I started doing my devotion, God provided me with a new job. A job that I specifically prayed to be a living testimony, to bless others and bring glory to God. Indeed, I felt really blessed with His mercy to me.
Throughout this whole experience, God showed me that if I surrender everything and faithfully seek Him, I don’t need to be worried. He will take care of me and provide the best things for me in His time. – Ecclesiastes 3:11
It’s true that I lost my job and my dream a few months ago.
It’s true that I was once living in my darkest time.
It’s true that I had doubt and disappointment because of the trials that I faced.
It’s true that there was a point when I just wanted to give up badly and run away.
However, I finally realised that all I need to do is to wrestle with Him in prayer and never let Him go. Because He is truly my only saviour, my everlasting helper, and my Father.
“And you will seek Me, and find Me. When you search for Me, with all your heart.”